


your decorum rings hollow

by gayprophets



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Bisexuality, Canon Non-Binary Character, Humor, Kissing, Other, Pre-Canon, Undiscovered Bisexuality, Yeah gang I don't have an explanation for this I just wanted it so therefore I made it, Zoo Pals, based off a tumblr post, i cant promise much but i can promise you'll laugh, i guess, wrestling as flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 21:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19036156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayprophets/pseuds/gayprophets
Summary: :•) Lt. ratman (•: -hey hol so about yesterdayHollis and Keith discuss feelings. Actually, it's mostly Keith discussing his own feelings. Hollis has said all they need to say already.





	your decorum rings hollow

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING in this fic for use of the f slur. its all in jest and its fine.

Hollis is sitting on their couch watching _Flubber_ on the VHS when their pager beeps on the cushion next to them. They ignore it for a moment, using chopsticks to gingerly pick a Reduced Fat Flamin' Hot Cheeto Puff up off of a frog Zoo Pals plate. They dip the cheeto into some sriracha sauce that they’ve poured into one of the frog’s eye dishes and crunch down on it, eyes glued to the screen of their 2005 Sharp 25 inch TV. Their pager suddenly goes off three times in rapid succession. Concerned, Hollis drops their chopsticks and hits pause on their remote, then snatches up their pager.

They immediately smile, because it’s Keith paging them, the tips of their ears quickly turning red. They open the first message.

 

> **:•) Lt. ratman (•:**
> 
> hey hol so about yesterday

Hollis runs their fingertips over their lips, blush deepening.

 

“We should get an apartment someday,” Keith had said.

They’re both sitting on the pavement in the back parking lot behind the Little Dipper - Hollis has been thinking about using it as a home base for the Hornets, given how few and far in between their patrons are, but so far they haven’t materialized that plan. Keith had just fallen off his skateboard, not hard, but it’d scraped up his knees, and Hollis had called him over to patch him up. It was a habit they’d picked up from Jake, before he’d quit the Hornets.

Hollis smoothed a bandaid over a particularly deep scrape, then shuffled to go sit beside him. “Yeah?”

“Could be roommates. Would be nice.” Keith propped his elbows up onto his knees, staring at the ground between his legs. He was blushing slightly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Could decorate it together. Go shopping at Target and Ikea and stuff.” Hollis said, looking over at Keith, who seemed to be almost glowing in the golden hour light, his mousey brown hair turning something close to amber, bits of mica shimmering silver in the dust on his black shirt. “Got any color scheme you’d like to follow?”

Keith huffed out a laugh. “Anything but yellow and black.”

“Hey, Hollis replied, “You’re the one who came up with _the Hornets_ in the first place, you don’t get to complain about our team colors. Yellow and grey, how ‘bout.”

“ _Light_ grey,” Keith said, looking up at them and smiling. “I get veto power over all the grey options, though.”

“Only if you promise not to touch any of our Ikea furniture before it's been assembled,” Hollis said, rapidly becoming aware of how Keith was looking at their mouth when they spoke, rather than making eye contact. They felt their face getting hot. “You can’t follow directions for shit. Let me put it together.”

Keith lightly punched them in the shoulder. “I can too!” he said.

“Remember the time you were trying to clean your mom’s bathroom and almost made mustard gas?” Hollis asked, slapping him on the stomach. “Or the time you almost blew up the chemistry lab because you didn’t read any of the directions?” Keith laughed, shoving them, and Hollis shoved him back, and they both wrestled for a few seconds, ending with Hollis pinning Keith to the ground, watching, fascinated, as his face slowly turned the color of a boiled lobster. “I’m just saying,” Hollis said airily, “I want a table that looks like a table, not a brutalist sculpture piece.”

Keith leaned up and kissed them, soft in contrast to his rough mustache scraping against Hollis’ face, the hard line of his lip ring.

Then Keith leaned back and rolled out from underneath them. “Sorry!” he said, high pitched. “I didn’t ask, sorry, I -,”

“Why’d you stop?” Hollis asked, pulling him back over, and they kissed him again.

 

Hollis pulls themself out of the memory with a shake of their head, pulling their hand away from their mouth, and they read on. 

 

> **:•) Lt. ratman (•:**
> 
> youre the most important person in my life and i totally think you’re the greatest and i dont want you thinking i like dont like you becauuse i do but im straight. i dont regret doing any of that at all, i had such a good time, but im just straight right? i only like women n i know yr not a boy but yr also not a girl. i just dont think we can be like tht.
> 
> **:•) Lt. ratman (•:**
> 
> DONT take this as me saying i dont wanna be yr friend anymore because i DO yr an amazing person and i care about you so much and i know we can totally take the hornets pro and i still wanna be yr lieutenant. i dont wanna change ANYTHING about us i just dont think we can date because i’m straight. hollis yr so important to me but i’m just not into anybody who isnt a girl and i feel like im doing you a disservice because you deserve someone who can actually be with you. yr so amazing and special n you deserve better than tht.
> 
> **:•) Lt. ratman (•:**
> 
> i still wanna get an apartment with you and live with you and help you head up the hornets yr really cool and i absolutely do NOT regret any of what we did but i just felt like i needed to tell you this and get it off my chest

Hollis stares at their pager for a moment, their thin eyebrows up in their hairline. They exhale through their mouth, making a soft _ppttbbt_ sound. They think about some of Keith’s various movie posters up on his bedroom wall - _Interview With a Vampire, My Own Private Idaho_ , fucking _Mama Mia!_ \- and about how often Keith has done a full 360 turn as they walk around town to check out a passing man, about Keith's overt, irrational jealousy of their last boyfriend, who was, coincidentally, the last thing they fought over, and they slide open their keyboard and text back. They toss their pager back down onto the couch next to them, running their hands through their bleached mullet - their roots are growing in, they’ll need to get Keith to touch up them up soon - and hit play on their remote, picking their chopsticks back up.

Across town, Keith grabs his chiming pager with shaking hands.

 

> **Hollis <3**
> 
> Okay, fag.

**Author's Note:**

> (procrastinates my other projects so hard this falls out)  
> hope you enjoyed! comments and kudos appreciated <3
> 
> based off of [this](https://eggtrolls.tumblr.com/post/176525841188) post (warning for the d slur)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [fingertips against my cheek](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20455385) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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